We’re All Whores.

In an effort to drive myself completely crazy I have decided to give my life over to Shakespeare for the next two weeks (well actually only one more at the time I am writing this.) As we finish up our run of "Romeo and Juliet" in Chicago I am spending all of my free time preparing for my next encounter with "Romeo" which happens to begin Monday. That is when I will fly down to Boca Raton to assume the role of Mercutio in the local production alongside Roman Zhurbin and Sarah Smith. While I am looking forward to it very much, a chance to push myself both technically and artistically, I am in Shakespeare overload. On top of dancing this masterpiece of a ballet I happen to be reading "Will in the World," an incredible hypothetical biography of the brilliant playwright. Never before have I studied Shakespeare this intently or had a book provoke so much thought about the ballet I am dancing.

Page after page I am amazed at how Shakespeare soaked up the world around him and spun it into poetry. People that peppered his life are turned into the most legendary literary characters of all time with the power of his pen. On top of this extraordinary gift, he was so knowledgeable about every facet of society that he can flesh out the worlds he created like no other writer. I haven't yet reached the portion of the book that dissects "Romeo" but after looking over a copy of the play this week I am more amazed than ever at MacMillans adaptation.

(A blur of fatigue as we rehearse during the day.)

By this point of a tour (week three) it is obvious to everyone that we all just want to be out of hotels and into our own beds for a change. The trouble is how to keep that frustration off the stage and give the best performance possible every night. As a dancer in the corps I find this ballet to be one of the most difficult to stay present in. At first glance it seems like the easiest ballet for the corps, no pointe shoes for the girls and hardly any dancing for the boys, but that is exactly the type of mentality that gets us in trouble. To create a believable scene there needs to be 100% commitment from every person on stage because you are only as strong as your weakest link (goodbye.) The minute laughter sneaks into the performance is the minute it flies off its hinges. My intent is not to point fingers at anyone because I am just as guilty as having my moments of "fatigue laughter" as the next person. Yet I find that is what keeps me from being a great corps dancer; the ability to leave fatigue and mental lag off stage and immerse myself in the story like I have never seen it before, night after night. A true example of this professionalism is Marian Butler whose acting and dedication I can only emulate.

Standing on the side watching Mercutio die time and time again I get angry finding myself gesturing the same tired arms that I always do. Yet I don't feel as if any of us know any better because this ballet requires more than typical "ballet" mime. The production is as much a play as it is a ballet but I don't feel like I am doing enough to tell the story. In my dream world we would have someone come in, perhaps an actor or director, to work primarily with the corps on creating the story. Ballet is such an independent establishment that this type of mixing never happens but hey, a boy can dream.

(Another blur, this time a little more exciting. Blur in the foreground, fatigue in the back.)

Today as I was standing on stage I realized that in this ballet we are all whores because we don't know any better. Let me explain myself. During the fight scenes or any of the multiple crowd scenes, we all just grab whoever is around and treat them as if they are our dearest lovers, then I turn around and do the same to another dancer. Not the most believable interactions but something that we all do as a way to "interact." Opening night I managed to create an arc with my partner Kelly Boyd that proved to be fulfilling and true to the story of the ballet. The trouble with being so close with everyone is that we all know how to make each other laugh so easily that nights like the opening seem few and far between. I don't know exactly what I am getting at here, it is turning a little bit into one of those ranty posts of mine and I apologize. Mind over matter can be such a difficult thing when you feel this drained and have to maintain some sense of story and integrity night after night.

Typing this in between shows is getting me a little revved up to go out and see what I can do differently tonight. This afternoon during one of my moments where I stand around as the other boys begin to fight I attempted to stab a chicken being protected by one of the Montague women; perhaps I should refrain from such antics this time around but at least my anger was directed in the right place. My other goal is to not be such a whore tonight; I don't think Shakespeare would be proud.

(A gaggle of whores.)

Comments

[May]

I went to see Chicago opening night R & J and was looking for you on stage. In Act one, were you fighting with Angel? I assumed that was you. In Act two, I could recognized you enjoying dancing with girls. It was cool to see you on stage finally. I realized it again that Ballet is not only dancing but also acting. Good luck on your Boca Raton performance!

[M]

Wow, you picked me out perfectly! I do my final fight with Angel and on Thursday night I was getting many kisses from the Harlots throughout act two; you have an excellent eye, especially in those costumes we wear! Hope you enjoyed the show and thanks for the support!