Ranting Details

SYTYCD 5/27/09: Observations and opinions on all that Miami and Memphis business

1. Cat Deeley spoke Spanish for the first time when she welcomed the Miami auditioners with 'Bienvenido a Miami.'  It is clearer than ever that this woman needs a recording career.  And it will lead off with a remake of Will Smith's "Miami."  I've been waiting for the summer anthem to pop up.  This is just too obvious. 

2.  Tice Diorio's involvement in the show continues to dumbfound me.  It's not that he's not talented.  It's just that he's the least tolerable person on the planet on this show.  For me to say this takes a lot.  I mean he's sitting next to someone who had the balls to Tweet: "I just don't want to see Brokeback Ballroom," earlier this week in an effort refute his homophobia displayed on last week's show.  (I should note that my first reaction to Lythgoe's ignorant tweet wasn't so much that it was incredibly offensive, just that it was incredibly outdated.  Really, Lythgoe?!  Still pulling out Brokeback jokes?) But back to Tice.  I even have a hard time with his facial hair.  That thin stripe roped around his jawline?  I think it's really just the hair from his head making an organized run for the border.  You know it's bad when even your own hair hates you.  I wouldn't feel nearly as inclined to be this rude if he wasn't a total jerk to everyone auditioning.  

3. Mary Murphy in reaction to the twin girls dancing with each other: "Every season I keep thinking..." (long pause).  I really thought she was going to just finish the sentence there. 

4. I always love to see who (and how) they bring back former contestants.  So far this season we have Lauren from season three teaching the choreography round at the auditions.  Fingers crossed for Twitch.  Or Katee and Joshua. 

5. Prayer of the week: Debbie Allen returns to the judging panel and brings her sister Phylicia Rashad with her.  But not P.  Rash as herself...P. Rash as her August: Osage County character.  Can't you just imagine the critiques the dancers would get if we put this African Queen disguised as a pill-popping matriarch on the judging panel?!  That would be siiiinful. 

6. Alex Wong (soloist with Miami City Ballet and former member of ABT Studio Company) is involved in this season?!?!?! Talk about someone that could make it to the end.  Boy is an incredible dancer and an incredibly sweet guy...he's perfect for this show.  Can't wait to see what comes from him. 

7. "WIll Memphis just leave our jidges with a case of the blues?"  Cat Deeley deserves an award for making groan worthy dialogue charming. 

8. I had totally forgotten about this whole "Buck" compliment from last year.  Something I didn't forget about?  Beatrix and Geronimo (known to some as Tabitha and Napoleon).  I seriously cannot wait to see what they choreograph this year. 

9. Speaking of choreographers...we got our first sights of Mia Michaels and Adam Shankman looking somewhat interchangeable.  God.  I forgot how fun this is gonna get.

10. We got our first glance at one of the loveliest girls we've seen yet this season.  Caitlin Kinney (whose sister already made it through to Vegas) is one of the more classical looking girls the program has ever had.  She has gorgeous legs, feet, and control (as well as some gymnastic ability).  Not the most emotional dancer, but lots of room to grow.  (Side note, is Mary wearing one of those creepy plastic see-through masks with the makeup painted on?)

11. Marico Flake (I think that's his name but I'm too lazy to rewind when there's pizza in front of my face...this show seems to make me crave carbs...it's tough watching people exert energy) has the potential to bring something very fun to this season;  I am in awe of people who can make their dancing look like it's stop motion animation.   And while wearing a rainbow colored plaid shirt?!  So much cooler than Gumby and Friends. 

12. Now, I'm all for trying new dance styles...and I can't even imagine creating my own like the red haired dreadlocked man who came up with "Electric" (also known as bouncing while vogueing...otherwise known as, what I do instead of walking).  But a quick question: when did John Travolta in "Battlefield Earth" and Carrot Top have a kid? 

13. Sure, Texaco, New Mexico wasn't the best dancer ever, but damn if the producers didn't get to me with that "supportive dad" storyline.  Another landmark?  Mary and I agreed with one another.  I, too, wanted Texaco, New Mexico to kill it.  Maybe next year? 

14. Twins dancing in perfect unison makes me think those twins from The Shining broke out of the hotel and performed the routine they'd been perfecting all of those years while the grandma was in the tub.  How did Mary not trip out to that?! 

Lazy Post Of The Day: Time to Celebrate

After last night's spectacular conclusion to an uneven season of SYTYCD, I thought it only appropriate that I share one final video from the program.  Here we have one of my favorite routines from any season of the show, choreographed by the wondrous Beatrix and Geronimo; what would this season have been without them?!  Doesn't hurt that it includes this year's winner, Joshua, with his frequent partner Katee.  The video is from last night's performance show, and it's hard to resist the joy in his face once they finish up the routine.  Also, how great is the section at 50 seconds in, with Katee's Matrix release leading into Joshua's  hinge up from the floor.  AMAZING. 

And just for fun, here is Courtney and Mark's great Jazz routine by Sonya, which was even better last night than the first time around. 

Thanks to everyone for sticking with me during the Live Blogs this year!  As it was my first year doing such a thing, it was a bit of a trial run, but I had a great time and thank everyone for the huge support.  If you're new to the blog, be sure to stick around and SPREAD THE RANT!!!

(Semi) Live Blogging SYTYCD: 8/06/08

6 last week.  4 this week.  It's the day of the (finale) show, ya'll!  There has been a lot of blood, sweat, and tears over the past few months covering this little show (and I'm sure there has been a little bit of blood, sweat and tears on the set...I mean Comfort DID crobar Jessicar...but this is about ME) and it's time to bid adieu for another season.  But not before one last bit of bitching with a dash of praise thrown in for good measure.  It's "So You Think You Can What What!?"

8:00- Cat Deeley is wearing a simple gold dress tonight, to signify the finale theme.  She looks a bit like an Academy Award.  If only she had shaved her head too. 

8:01- She's also rocking the lobster burn again. 

8:02- Everyone is going to dance with everyone else tonight in the finale.  How about Joshua and Twitch do a Viennese Waltz? 

8:03- Mary Murphy is wearing a pageant version of a spiderweb tonight.  Can we do a revival of "Kiss of the Spider Woman" with her? I'm sure she wouldn't have any problem eating her lover's head after mating. 

Mini SYTYCD Recap

I mentioned this in my recap last week, but since I've gotten some emails about it, I figured I would remind people that there will be no SYTYCD recap this week.  Because of the nature of my recap, it requires me to have a way to tape the show (whether DVR or VCR) and I didn't have that this week as I am in Seattle.  Not to worry, things will be back to normal next week for the finale. 

But since I can't resist....here are a few thoughts on last night's show: 

1) Tyce Diorio choreographed a decent routine for my reunited golden couple (Katee and Joshua) that didn't include running around the stage or jazz hands!! 

2) Mary decided to wear a disco ball inspired glitter top this week (AGAIN), but Joshua was able to capture the same shimmery effect with only sweat. 

3) The jidges were offering so much praise (really there was hardly any critique) that they failed to mention Courtney appeared to have replaced her feet with 2x4s during the samba. 

4) Mary stood up too many times to count.  It's possible she has hemorrhoids. 

5) Cat Deeley wore a grill last night on the show.  Would it have been too much to ask her to do a performance of "Hot in Herrre"?

6) Mark and Courtney got a great Sonya jazz combination, but I'm never a fan of sitting on the floor, lifting your leg to your shoulder and then headbanging.  I tried it last week at the Ani Difranco concert, and it's more like a raccoon mating call than dance.  However, the mating call could be enough to put one if not both of them in the top 4. 

7) Katee and Joshua got an amazing Paso Doble, even though the lighting almost gave me a seizure.  He's the one I'm rooting for to take the whole thing.  Although, since Nigel managed to pimp his excellence repeatedly last night, he could be in danger.   As for the dance, must the man always drag his partner to the corner afterwards like a piece of meat? 

8) Beatrix and Geronimo delivered a clever, well-executed routine once again last night.  Sure, it wasn't their best, but you can't really go wrong when using an string orchestra version of Janet Jackson's "Control."  I'm just surprised Mandy Moore didn't snatch it up first.  It was 80s fabulous.  And who doesn't love an interview package that allows Twitch to say things like "Put your hands on my baton"?

9) Mark almost gets my vote for entering the top 4 purely for the reason that he chose Robyn as the music for his solo.  Seriously, put us in a boxing ring with trendy music and let us make out have a hair battle!

10) Adam Shankman revealed that he, Tyce Diorio, and Paula Abdul have all been friends since 1990.  He just handed Fox reality TV gold on a platter.  Can we have a "The Girls Next Door," type of show where they move into a house together?  Actually, better yet, why don't the three of them just replace the girls on "The Girls Next Door," next season.  Tyce, Paula, and Adam would make perfect girlfriends for Hugh Hefner.   Who doesn't want to see a Playboy centerfold of the three of them?!

(Semi) Live Blogging SYTYCD: 7/23/08

10 last week.  8 this week.  It’s getting dangerously close to finale time.  Which can only mean that each couple will dance five pieces tonight, while continuously doing the Macarena (and twirling a baton) on the perimeter of the stage whenever they aren’t performing.  Gotta get that aerobic exercise up!  It’s time for “So You Think You Can What What!”

8:00- Katee comes out in the intros wearing a hairdo that looks strangely reminiscent of Amy Winehouse’s signature beehive.  Will she do a crack dance tonight?  That’s like a hipster rain dance. 

8:01- Joshua takes his ripple breaking easy this week, instead showing a beautiful sense of unusual musicality. 

8:02-Just when I thought the wardrobe supervisor was going to ruin my night by putting Cat Deeley in a simple black mini dress, she turns around to reveal a sunburst of large (plastic) diamonds beneath a low cut back.  Cat rocks the tramp stamp too…but hers is made of jewels. 

8:03- The jidging panel tonight includes a dashing looking Nigel, in a pink shirt and white suit, that woman in the middle, and Toni Basil (of the 1980s song “Mickey”…seriously) rocking an up-do that looks as if she couldn’t figure out where the back of her head was, so she just tied buns everywhere to be sure that one of them was in the right place. 

8:04- UPDATE: There may also be Mickey Mouse ears somewhere in her hairdo.  Can’t be sure. 

(Semi) Live Blogging SYTYCD: 7/16/08

I did my best tonight.  But I gotta admit,  I am WIPED.  Also watched it in a group of people for the first time, so had a hard time keeping up with everything.  FORGIVE ME!

FYI: If you had checked Blogging SYTYCD this week, you would know that Jessicar is out and Comfort is BACK IN! This top ten is already infused with drama.  And while I feel for Jessicar and her injury (it must be heartbreaking),   nothing can get in the way of my excitement/ambivalence that it's Top 10 time. 

12 last week.  10 this week.  That means that it's time to switch up the couples and send my blogger comfort into a spiral of confusion.  Can we take a minute to remember how amazing Ailey was on the program last week?  And how Will then came out and did one of the best solos ever seen on the program?  (I'd be stunned if he didn't take the whole competition.)  Okay, I'm so over reminiscing.  It's time for "So You Think You Can What What?!"

8:00- Cat Deeley is perched at the top of the radio tower, wearing a gold dress that looks a print from an elementary school gift wrap sale.  The hair matches the dress, but the skin is jarringly red tonight.   

8:01- During the introductions Joshua still manages to find joints to bend where most humans don’t have joints.  How am I going to handle seeing him without my beloved Katee? 

8:02- Jessicar comes out to explain why she is leaving the competition.  Broken ribs. Perhaps caused by the fact that her dress is wrapped around her as tightly as a rubber band?

8:03- Cut to a shot of Mary wearing Beyonce’s weave.  It’s nice to know that even though Jessicar is leaving, she has a place to live in Mary’s hair, along with all of the eliminated contestants.  Do you think we could make some sequel to “Being John Malkovich,” called “Being Mary Murphy,” with all the characters living in her head? 

8:04- We will see each of the dancers dance solo this week.  “But that isn’t the only change,” says Cat.  “Mary Murphy will be debuting as the new lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls.” Hey, a boy can dream, can't he?   

(Semi) LIVE BLOGGING: SYTYCD 7/09/08

Let's make a deal: If I make you laugh during the live blog, you buy a ticket to see "Passing Strange" on Broadway.  Deal?  Don't make me send Mary after you. 

(This week is a special treat: Mary AND Mia as the cover models!)

14 last week.  12 this week.  With the elimination of the gentle giants (Kourtni and Matt), the future of classical technique (on the show, at least) rests on Will's shoulders.  We are dangerously close to the top-10 finalists, and there's no doubt that this week will put the dancers through the ringer.  After double duty last week, what's in store tonight?  Perhaps dancing while wearing an in ear monitor producing a constant Mary shriek?  Now THAT'S a test of talent.  Welcome to "So You Think You Can What What?!"

8:00- Cat looks lovely tonight in a pastel pink dress that was possibly painted by Lisa Frank.  Or is it a hyper color dress?  I would totally run up to her and breathe on her dress to just watch it change colors.  Honestly though, the dress looks great on her. 

8:01-The stage looks a bit bare for the introductions tonight.  Shit is getting serious.  I can't get over the fact that Chelsea's hair looks super Jon Benet this week.  Last week she stole her dress, this week her hair.  What's next?  A Jon Bennett marionette?  Too much?  Sorry. 

8:02- Joshua blows my mind for the first time tonight with a ripple during the introduction that manages to make his body look as fragmented as a Picasso painting before miraculously piecing back together. 

8:03- I can't really believe Comfort is still on the show.  She needs to BRING IT tonight.  Because Mary is going to throw her onto the train tracks.  Oh, what am I talking about?  Mary doing something sane?  NEVER!

8:04- Mia is on the panel tonight!  And she stole Britney Spears' hat from the 2001 MTV Music Awards. 

8:05- Holy fuck balls.  (Pardon the expression, but really, this dress deserves it.)  I take back what I said about Chelsea.  Mary has stolen the Jon Benet dress pattern and cross-bred it with a Scarlett O'Hara original.  It's very Jon Benet O' Hara goes to a funeral.  That seems like all kinds of wrong. 

Lazy Post Of The Day: THIS Is Why I Love It

Since airing last night, I have watched this Katee and Joshua routine about ten times, and it only gets better with repeated viewings.  Mia Michaels has choreographed something great here that, as Beckyloo said, raises the bar for the entire show; it is hands down the best routine that has ever been on the program. 

For those of you who don't watch the show (for whatever reasons) I urge you to take the minute and a half to witness this spectacular dancing.  The two performers are able to stay connected to each other, even when dancing apart or staring anywhere but each others' faces.  They are both passion wrapped up in a body.  Watch for the moments when they border on getting out of control of the movement, only to reel it back in and juxtapose the release with a haunting stillness.  What could have been overwrought contemporary dance (too often seen on the program) instead looks like something that could enter the rep of a dance company.  I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it.  This is why it's great that "So You Think You Can Dance" exists...for the small chance that every so often, a huge audience gets to see a piece like this. Who else is obsessed with this routine? 

LIVE BLOGGING: SYTYCD 7/02/08

16 last week.  14 this week.  With the outing of Chris (in the sense that he got kicked off, not in the sense that he is homosexual...although I mean, come on) and Chelsea (what will I do without her hair!?!  It was the antithesis to Susy Mixy Hair's disaster!) we have our first new pair of the season: Comfort and Thayne. Let's see if they fire each other up.  Although let's face it, we're all here to see what Mary will be wearing/shouting.  It's time for "So You Think You Can What What?!"

8:00- Cat Deeley welcomes us in a glammed up version of the tuxedo shirt.  Who knew that even existed?! It's a black and white dress, covered in bows,  mixed with a bouffant flapper hairdo.  Loving it?  Or hating it?  Two hours to live with it.  I'll decide by then. 

8:01- Am I the only one who feels bad for the dancers during the intros?  Such a small amount of time to make an
impression.  Mark's personality comes through well, but Joshua takes the cake dance wise with his gorgeous popping and charming personality. 

8:02- Cat reveals they are all dancing twice tonight.  MY HEAD EXPLODES. 

8:03- Tabitha and Napoleon Beatrix and Gernoimo are on the judging panel tonight!  Will be fabulous to see them sitting behind the desk for the first time. 

8:04- I am really hoping they do a movie tie-in this week and Mary is dressed as the Joker from "The Dark Knight."  She could rock that clown makeup. 

8:05- Huge disappointment/joy-- Mary is continuing her disco ball theme from last week.  Although it appears she has shelacked her face and cooked herself in a kiln tonight.  Are we witnessing a painted pottery version of Mary Murphy?  I want one on my shelf. 

LIVE BLOGGING: SYTYCD 6/25/08

18 last week.  16 this week.  Things are getting serious...a word that the jidges will have a hard time spelling if they are in the same drug induced stupor as last week.  The blog might be all rainbows and lollipops this week with the elimination of "street dancer" Susy Mixy Hair; will there be a new target for my harping love?  And let's have a moment to mourn the premature elimination of Marquis!  Okay...stop crying.  I said a moment.  It's over.  Time to watch "So You Think You Can What What!?"

8:00- Cat Deeley is sporting a white lace outfit tonight.  Last week she was the angel of death in a full black ensemble, this week she is the angel of doilies...in one giant doily.   

8:03- During the introductions Gev pulls out some popper tricks that almost dislocate his shoulders...and I mean that in the coolest way.  Thayne pulls out a smile that almost dislocates his face...and I mean that.  Period. 

8:04- Adam Shankman of "Hairspray" fame is on the panel tonight.  Get ready for rainbows shooting out of his fingertips.  Mary Murphy apparently got a hold of a bedazzler, and a pattern book for your grandma's sweater...and possibly some crack.

8:06- They acknowledge Cyd Charisse's passing.  Nigel claims to have danced with her, and all of America is heard saying, "When?!"